If you attended our wedding and took photos and videos we need them!!
We’re using WeddingMix to create a wedding video from all of the videos (and photos) you shot on your phones or cameras. But, if you didn’t use the WeddingMix App on your phone, don’t fret, you can still share your videos with very easily. Just download the app now, input our code: ALLSUTTONEDUP, select “Add photo or video” and then choose “import.” Or, if you used a standalone camera, instead of using a DVD or USB drive, you just upload your content directly to our wedding using this link: http://www.storymixmedia.com/weddingmix/app/add.php?upload_key=15PQ (500mb limit per file).
Thank you so much! We’re excited to share the video that YOU helped create!
Today’s not a landmark day or anything, I believe we’re 67 days to the wedding (!!!!) and, yes, there are plenty of exciting things going on (invitations going out this week, Holly’s parents made us a gorgeous arbor, we’ve ordered flowers and we made the last payment to our photographer, among other things), but today’s just a good day to think about why we’re getting married.
The last few weeks have been challenging for both Holly and I for a few different reasons. There are challenges at Holly’s work, I’m working through residual fallout from some broken relationships from a few years ago, and we’re still learning about one another’s boundaries and figuring out how to fit into those boundaries without losing ourselves.
At the center of every situation we face is the question, why do we share our lives with each other? That’s not supposed to be cynical, but honest. Sharing your life with someone means you have to be vulnerable about your weaknesses and honest about your feelings. It also means you have to carry the weight of your partner’s problems as well. If you never ask yourself why you’re doing it, it could easily just become a habit rather than a choice.
I never want my love or my decision to stay in this relationship, to get married even, to be a habit. And I certainly don’t want to coast through my relationship with my wife. I think that’s especially important now, in the middle of the flurry of wedding planning and the existing stresses of sharing a life for over two years.
So, because I know you’re just dying for something cheesy and gross:
I’m choosing to marry you. I’m choosing to share my life with you every day. Not because it’s easier than the alternative but because it’s a million times better. Because my life is better with you in it. You challenge me, inspire me and give me courage. I am proud of who you are and proud to be on your team. 😉
Purchased items for centerpiece & other decor items (huge love to my future in-laws for their help on this!!)
Purchased table linens
Talked to florist
I didn’t realize until right now how much I had gotten done! I tend to focus on the things yet to do without realizing what’s already been accomplished! While we still need to finalize our menu with the caterer, they’re booked for both the wedding and rehearsal dinner! We have met with our DJ and hammered out a lot of details there, but still have to meet with our ceremony musicians, that’s scheduled for after the holidays.
We are so excited that Moses Lake Party Bus is providing transportation for our wedding! If you have any upcoming holiday parties and don’t want to worry about finding a driver, take advantage of this awesome service.
As you can imagine, being part of a two-chick couple is not always simple on a cultural level. Holly and I are incredibly fortunate to live in a time when it’s fairly accepted and generally safe for us to be together openly. We also live in a state where’s it’s been legal for two ladies or two dudes to get married for almost four years now, yay, Washington!
AND, as of June 26 of this year, the Supreme court made this superfluous by declaring that banning marriage for those of us of the queer persuasion is unconstitutional under the 14th Amendment!
While we have a great group of friends and family (and even acquaintances or relative strangers!) that love us and are extremely excited for us, there are plenty of people who still struggle with accepting that us being together is both normal and good. Perhaps you’re one of them. You might also be unsure if you’re going to be comfortable coming to the wedding.
While you struggle with your answer to the RSVP, allow me to share a few thoughts to consider.
**Note: I’m not of the mindset that every marriage must be “blessed” by God. The existence of civil marriage and the separation of Church and state creates a healthy space where free people can enter into marriage on whatever premises they both choose. I consider this an important component of a free society. But, the following assumes a religious or quasi religious perspective on marriage.**
When you attend a wedding you are doing two things: witnessing the marriage vows and celebrating the love and commitment of the couple. The question to ask is: is my acting as a witness to these vows and celebrating the love of these two people dishonoring to God?
It’s a question many people I care deeply about are struggling with. This is actually a good thing, in fact, I think we should probably struggle with it a bit more.
The marriage sacrament, as it exists today, is not what it was 1,000 or even 100 years ago. We tend to romanticize the history of marriage with fairy tales about true love but generally speaking, the motivation for marriage more frequently had to do with convenience, safety, money, property or power. Often, it was a kind of slavery. These practicesstillexist. We see remnants of the colorful legacy of marriage at every socioeconomic level: the gold digger, the shotgun wedding, the offspring factory, the partnership or “merger,” etc. These marriages may meet some need in one or both partners, but they certainly don’t require love or even fidelity.
Returning to the original question: is celebrating these unions honoring the sacrament or “spirit” of marriage? Is this the relationship God had in mind when he put his first two kids together in the Garden?
Here’s the kicker, is the quality of the relationship more or less important than the quantity of men or women in it? If you believe it’s less, I’ll be the last person to ask you to compromise your beliefs or to share in our special day. Peace and love be with you. But, honestly, after seeing my share of abuse, infidelity and broken marriages, I think we shouldn’t just assume God is on board at every boy-girl wedding we attend.
But, even if you cannot fully celebrate the quantity of ladies in our marriage, but maybe you can be part of a celebration of love and commitment between two fellow humans.
Because, against all odds, by design, tradition or accident, people still like to couple up. And, when the coupling is characterized by love, willingness, mutual respect, honesty, faithfulness and joy, I think that’s a win for humanity all around.
Back story: Early in June my car started behaving oddly. Don’t ask me to embarrass myself to describe what it was doing, I could just tell something was off in either the transmission or brakes category. I had the day off so I scheduled time to have the brakes looked at, have the car serviced and, if that didn’t clear things up, to take it to a mechanic (which, in hindsight would have been the smarter option, but I was going with cheap not smart).
During my first appointment of the day, my transmission crapped out. On my eight year old car. Very bad ($$) news. Fortunately my car would still shift into reverse though none of the forward gears functioned. I was 3 blocks away from my mechanic and really didn’t want to wait two hours for a tow so I did the logical thing: I drove three blocks backwards to my mechanic a la Smoke Signals. Two weeks, many tears and a few thousand dollars later we had a shiny new transmission for my car! Just in time to take it to Seattle for Pride!
On the morning of July 23rd, we packed up my car, along with it’s brand new transmission, and headed to Montana for a family ruinion. There was going to be about 80 people there from my mother’s side of the family, most of whom Holly had never met, and many I hadn’t seen for 5-15 years. We were nervously excited about the trip as my family’s reaction to my coming out and Holly and my relationship has been deeply varied and complex. Nevertheless, it was going to be an amazing opportunity for Holly to get a look at the quirky and wonderful stock from which I come and for them to meet her.
About 10 miles from our destination my car begun to make horrible screaming/scraping/clunking sounds and proceeded to defecate pieces of the engine along the freeway.
No. Just no.
Thank God, a well placed freeway exit, my parents and AAA the situation was actually much better than it could have been. My parents were already at the destination so, less than a half hour later, my Dad arrived to give me hug and also show me the difference between my transmission (which is just fine, shiny and still sparkly-brand-new!) and my cylinder, which is very not fine.
Since this happened, I have spent countless hours googling images of car engines and reading articles in the hopes that I will never again be the stereotypical girl on the side of the road wondering “what is this thing that fell out of my engine?” I recommend it.
But enough of that, the very good news is we had an amazing time with my family. The was a single slightly awkward moment, but mostly everything was chill. A couple of my cousins seemed very interested in what we were both wearing which, along with who’s walking down the aisle, seems to be everyone’s favorite question. This led, as it often does, to a great conversation about gender stereotypes. Other than that, we participated in normal family things as if we weren’t the odd couple in the group. I find this both amazing and touching because I know that my family falls in many places on the “acceptance” spectrum yet we all managed to simply be a family, Holly included. I was so proud.