A friend of mine and I were talking last night about Soul Mates. Specifically I was saying that I can’t imagine “choosing” to love Holly, because she is my One; loving her is a compulsion. Like breathing.

That’s very poetic and all, but my friend had a very good point:

“I don’t believe in ‘The One.’ I think there are many people in the world who are compatible with me. I fell in love with my husband and I choose to continue loving him every day. But he’s not my one and only ‘Soul Mate.’ If he died or we split for some reason, I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life alone.”

Now, my first thought was, ‘That isn’t very romantic.’ It is romantic to be hopelessly forever in love with a single person forever and to live your life in eternal lonely solitude without them. But that’s not very practical, nor is it real.

Reality is that many of us fall in love more than once in a lifetime. We marry compatible people who make us happy and have lives full of love. And sometimes we do it twice. Or three times.

Does this make one love better or more real than another? Maybe that’s for each person to decide for themselves. But it’s not really fair for me to say that, because I met my One, someone else may not love their non-soul-mate partner with as much purity and strength as I do. To say so is incredibly arrogant and condescending.

Love has many phases and faces. It comes in gentle silence and with violent fury. It burns and it soothes. It is friendship and passion, safety and adventure, compromise and change; such things are not standardized or predictable.

So here’s to your love, be it with your best friend, your better half, your partner, or your soul-mate. Enjoy the beauty, romance and singularity of your love story.

 

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