I wrote this August 28, 2013. Before Holly and I got together. In that weird gray period between careful friends and…more. My love for fairy tales and those of star-crossed lovers was laying heavy on my heart. For some reason, Holly has always conjured up fire imagery for me. Maybe it’s the red hair.In my phone, Holly is listed as “Kissed by Fire.”
So I think the fire metaphor along with a seemingly unattainable love probably inspired my to compare her to the fiery fairy that teases travelers with it’s elusive light.
“The Ellylldan is a species of elf exactly corresponding to the English Will-o’-wisp, the Scandinavian Lyktgubhe, and the Breton Sand Yan y Tad. The Welsh word dan means fire; dan also means a lure; the compound word suggests a luring elf-fire.” British Goblins: Welsh Folk-lore, Fairy Mythology, Legends and Traditions. Chapter II.IV (page 19).
“Time marches on across my tiny little world which still swirls slightly around Holly. But each day I get a little bit more of myself back. I can at least be human now. I can shut down the sadness and insecurity so much better than 3 weeks ago. Much better perspective. It’s still hard when your whole being is telling you to go there-to dwell on impossibilities, to live in fantasies-but that world doesn’t exist. It’s pretend and the reality would never live up to the dream. But I’m a dreamer! It’s my natural state to live in impossibilities to feed on them and wish on invisible stars.